Courage as a Mindful Choice: Three Strategies to Choose Change over Fear
Courage as a Mindful Choice: Three Strategies to Choose Change over Fear
I’m not known for my courage. Are you? I look before I leap, avoid taking chances, and tend to take only calculated risks. Like so many highly sensitive people (HSPs) I’ve met, I don’t consider myself naturally brave or courageous. However, I know that I have done some things that are courageous, and I’m sure you have, too. What makes the difference?
Deep Processing Creates the “Both-And” of Courage and Fear
The HSP tendency to deeply process information about ourselves and the world predisposes us to reflecting, rather than bursting forward with courage. We likely are prudent, cautious, threat-sensitive, perhaps even anxious.
Nevertheless, I think most HSPs are capable of profound acts of courage and bravery. Our passion for the things we believe in and our need to see our actions align with our beliefs can inspire us to act courageously, even if we don’t feel that way.
As that wise observer of human nature, Mr. Rogers, sings, “Are you brave and you wonder/Are you brave and you doubt?” As HSPs, we undoubtedly wonder and doubt, but we also have courage. This is one of those “both-and” scenarios that reflect the complexity of our feelings.
Courage as a Mindful Choice for HSPs
Our first response to challenges, transitions, and changes is often fear. And fear is uncomfortable, so many of us have learned to avoid, resist, or procrastinate in response to our fear. We may be unable to take any action, since acting requires us to experience our fear.
These situations give us an opportunity to practice mindfulness. We can breathe, settle into our bodies, and notice the both-and, our desire to be courageous and our fear, anxiety, doubt, and other painful feelings. We can learn to notice with precision what we are experiencing and cultivate awareness without judging ourselves.
When we bring mindfulness to these situations, we can choose, just for a moment, to have courage. We can choose small, tiny moments of bravery—courage just for this second. And then we can choose to have it for the next second, and the next. As we string together those moments of courage, we can remember (or learn for the first time) that we are capable of courage, bravery, change.
I love this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt, who was in no way a stranger to personal and public adversity. She describes this mindful approach to courage beautifully:
“Courage is more exhilarating than fear and in the long run it is easier. We do not have to become heroes overnight. Just a step at a time, meeting each thing that comes up, seeing it is not as dreadful as it appeared, discovering we have the strength to stare it down.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living (1960)
Breaking the Spell of Fear
Choosing to act with courage breaks the spell of fear. The idea that courage is the easier choice in the long run is probably relatable to any HSP who has been trapped in the pain of analysis paralysis or a mental spiral.
We can act courageously not just in the ways that make for clickbait or a made-for-television movie. Our private moments are filled with opportunities for courage. We may set aside an insecurity, tune out an unhelpful voice that sows doubt, or allow ourselves to imagine a new future, different from our habitual past choices. When we live authentically, honest with ourselves and others, we are profoundly courageous. And HSPs are masters of this kind of authentic living.
Each time our fear returns, we can practice mindfulness. We notice the fear, then choose to reconnect with our courage. We compassionately acknowledge the effort it takes to make this choice. As often as necessary, we intentionally choose courage. And this allows us to become heroes in our own lives, staring down fear and experiencing the exhilaration of courage.
Singularly Sensitive Ways to Mindfully Choose Courage
One of the biggest obstacles to HSPs choosing courage is our tendency to get bogged down in our heads. Deep processing can take us far away from a mindful stance. Here are some strategies you can use to find Singularly Sensitive ways to mindfully choose courage.
1. Guided Journaling
In your journal, jot down bullet points about the fears of change that get in the way of being courageous. Keep your responses brief—just a word or phrase for each, so you’re not pulling yourself deeper into a fear spiral.
Next, write down your reasons for being courageous. Allow yourself to go into greater detail, if you wish, about all the positives that may come from making this change.
Finally, take a moment to check in with yourself. Breathe, settle into awareness of yourself, and notice your mind, body, heart, intuition. Then come back to your journal and respond to this prompt: “I can be both mindful of my fears and act with courage by…”
2. Affirmations from Your Future Self
Allow yourself to become aware of whatever you are experiencing in this moment. Be gentle and set aside your judgments about whatever you are feeling or doing. Acknowledge that change is frightening, difficult, or however you feel about it.
Once you have brought all aspects of this experience to your awareness, pause and breathe. Imagine a future self who already has acted with courage in this situation. Ask your future self what finally what tipped the balance from fear to action. What does your future self know about what you need to hear in the present in order to change?
Make note of what your future self tells you, either in your journal or on a separate piece of paper. Then spend some time re-reading that message. Repeat it to yourself. Write it down again and again. Let that message encourage you and seep into your consciousness.
When you feel ready to begin to courageously change, repeat that message to yourself as you act.
3. Mindful Photography
Written and spoken language are not the only ways to bring mindfulness to our fears of change. Sometimes photos can be powerful mindfulness tools, capturing aspects of our experience that words miss.
Bring your awareness to the present. You are going to use a photograph to connect with your inner courage. Stay mindful of the process, setting aside your fears as they arise and focusing on what photo might help you in this situation.
Perhaps you already have a picture that connects you to your courage in some way. You don’t have to feel perfectly courageous when you look at it. The photo could be of you in a particularly courageous moment, but it could also be any picture that reminds you of your courage.
If you don’t have such a photo, you may want to take one. Trust me when I say that you do not need to have great photographic skills! This is not about creating fine art or even a picture that you would want to display on your mantle. The photo just needs to remind you of your courage.
Some people prefer to use a photo of something other than themselves. Again, there is no right or wrong photo, so choose any subject you wish. Look through your camera reel for inspiration or browse online.
While it is important that you find a photo that connects you to your courage, please don’t allow yourself to get hung up on finding or creating the perfect photo. Don’t overthink it. Finding a “good enough” photo is enough for this exercise.
Allow yourself to bring your mindful (precise, nonjudgmental) awareness to the photo. As you look at it, notice what thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations arise for you. What do you notice about courage and fear? What can you take away about how to find the courage to act in your current situation?
Make notes of what you’ve noticed or create a new photo that captures that awareness. Use either of these as a reminder of what you’ve learned about yourself and how that can inspire you take courageous action.
HSPs Can Choose Mindfully
Even if you doubt it, and I’d expect nothing less from an HSP, you can choose to act courageously. No, it may not be easy. You might struggle to stay connected to the feeling of courage, but you can use mindfulness to choose to act in courageous ways. Experiment with the strategies I described and see what helps you stare down your fear. I’ve done it, and I know you can, too.
