Cope with Grief & Overwhelm as a Highly Sensitive Person

Coping with Grief and Overwhelm as Highly Sensitive People (HSPs)

As a idealistic, highly sensitive person (HSP) who has been involved in social activism all my life, I feel like this lighthouse, battered on all sides and trying to endure the storm of emotions when faced with so many current events. We are once again collectively overwhelmed by pain, rage, and horror in the wake of gun violence in Buffalo, Laguna Woods, and Uvalde. Activists are pushing for change, even as our hearts break.

The overwhelm that grief brings can be palpable. When we are overwhelmed, it can be hard to focus on anything except our feelings. Or we might become numb and shut down in an attempt to reduce the overstimulation of the emotions that we and our communities are feeling.

Coping with Grief and Overwhelm Doesn’t Have to BE Overwhelming

Here are three things you can do for yourself in the midst of the storm of grief to reduce how overwhelmed you feel.

Strategize

Take an honest, objective look at what you need as you grieve. Figure out what resources will help you get through this process. Create a plan for what will help you get through this time.

Identify the people who can be part of your support system. It might be others in your activist community, but you may also need to connect with people who are less directly impacted (depending on the source of your grief).

Simplify

Find ways to simplify as much as possible in your life. Take shortcuts. Eating is mandatory; home-cooked meals made with ingredients from three different markets is not. Figure out an acceptable alternative and embrace it as a temporary substitute.

Give yourself permission to set tasks aside until you feel less overwhelmed. Pause the spring cleaning you’d normally do or bow out of a social obligation that won’t feed your soul. Focus on making your life as simple as possible until things stop swirling around you.

Surrender

You may not like acknowledging your grief or feelings of overwhelm. It might be uncomfortable to reach out for help or pare back your activities. You may be in a hurry to put this phase behind you and get back to what’s “normal” for you. But the fact is, you are in an overwhelming period. 

Acknowledge it. Name it. And accept it as reality. 

Right now, you don’t have the energy to spare to keep fighting against whether you “should” feel overwhelmed. You DO feel that way. 

Surrender to that reality. 

The thing about overwhelming times is that they are not permanent. Our circumstances change. We change. You won’t feel this way forever, even if your grief never ends.

The Overwhelm Will Fade, Even Though the Grief Lasts

Allow yourself to hunker down and ride out the overwhelming storms at this time in your life. The lighthouse still shines, even as the waves crash around it. 

The storms will subside. You’ll be able to deal with your grief more directly.

You will emerge from the overwhelm and give your grief the space it deserves. And you will grow as a person for facing your grief directly.